2012: A Look Back

I didn’t start writing over here until this past summer but I thought it might be nice to get everyone (and by everyone, I mean Beki) caught up on our year in a nutshell.  I can’t say it’s been a bad year, although I am always ready for a fresh start!

January:  In January I launched the biggest blogging undertaking I had ever attempted (or thought of attempting) with the 30 Days of Dipes cloth diaper giveaway event.  30 days of product reviews and giveaways and by the end I was completely turned off by product blogging and giveaways and all of the things that come with promoting and monetizing a blog.  Which is part of the reason I launched this space.  So I could write words that whether they are read or not, are not muddled by ads or sponsorships.  Part way through I almost had a nervous breakdown so I wrote about one of my old favorite things: Perfume.  I love it.  January was also one of the most difficult months with the boys because of an extended winter break with a cross-country road trip and various issues with meeting their sensory needs.  It was a very long time before we got back to where we were pre-vacation and I never even wrote about it because I was so overwhelmed with the posts I had to write for the cloth diaper event.  I also took over the Breastfeeding Blog Hop.  Because I didn’t have enough blogging obligations on my plate…this was the highlight of my blogging career to date and also the beginning of the end.

February: I finally got to put down my thought on the stressful issues we were dealing with regarding Autism and the holidays.  I finally kicked myself in the butt and joined a gym.  I finally set some goals for myself when it came to taking care of me.  I will tell you- I lost a few pounds and then as soon as school was out for the summer I stopped going to the gym and paying attention to what I ate and right now, I am almost exactly the same place weight-wise as I was when I started last February.  I still have that gym membership and I need to get back on track once school starts again on Wednesday.

March: I turned 34!  Not a monumental year, but I don’t mind getting older.  I added to my Bucket List– and looking back, I actually can cross a few of these off!  I waxed poetic about my love for all things preppy– I need an escape now and then and I do it within the pages of Town & Country.   What’s wrong with that?  I had a wake-up call while driving through campus (apparently although I don’t mind getting older, in my mind I am still 18).  this was also the month where everyone was sick.  It seems like a domino effect in this house and it always goes on forever.  This ruins everything for me schedule-wise and I start to lose my mind.  I started to work through my fears over a possible 3rd pregnancy.  I am still working through those fears.  the low-light of the month was my first attempt ever at taking two kids at once to the doctor– remember, at this point I had twins who were 40 months old.  I am no super mom.  I do not strive to be.  I will always take the easy way out.  How is that for honest?

April:  I was happy to leave March behind.  It was a tough month.  April was proving hard to focus, but I was actually getting to the gym, so I was still happy with that, even if I was failing with my food choices.  We participated in our first ever Fraser Walk for Autism and I will say, we have the most generous friends and family and co-workers who pretty much blew my expectations out of the water.  It was a fun day, but an emotional day too.  I had some tears.  Speaking of Autism, I completely flaked out on writing for Autism Awareness month.  Last year I wrote nearly every day but this year, I just couldn’t do it.  I had an unexpected day where I was disconnected from all things digital and I spent it dyeing everything I could get my hands on (talk about a fluff piece)!  I wrote a fantastic tutorial for dyeing pre-folds (if I do say so myself).

May:  This month started with a tree falling on our garage.  I was super excited about this because to me it meant more grass would grow.  It actually meant it would just be hotter than Hades in our backyard and no one would want to sit out there past the first week of June.  I had a few really exciting partnerships with sponsors- Let’s Dish (a company I adore) and a fun movie premiere for What to Expect When You’re Expecting, where I got to meet some of my readers.  I tried to (unwittingly) kill my kids with Foxglove.  I fell completely off the healthy eating wagon and stuffed all the food I could find into my face.  I put a stop to weekend blogging and chasing the almighty sponsored posts.  I participated in what will more than likely be my last Flats and Handwashing Challenge, and I loved almost every minute of it.

June:  This month came much to quickly.  I was not prepared for the hell that would be summer school and summer vacation.  We had been holding out hope that we would be getting into Day Treatment for the summer session but we did not make the cut and were instead clinging to the 6 week summer session at the boys school to get us through.  That is a lot to ask for.  It started out OKI sobbed on my couch over blogging.  BLOGGING!  If that isn’t a call to step back, I don’t know what is.  We had an ER visit with L and our first stitches.  He taught me a lot during that visit- namely that I should trust that he will handle himself just fine.  I wrote possibly my favorite post ever and I was speechless when Swistle gave her $0.02 in my comments!  To round out the first half of the year, we converted J’s crib to a toddler bed. (Dun Dun DUNNNNN!!!) and I vowed to get rid of the clutter, do more with less, simplify.  Oh, and I started Mill City Mom!

July: We traveled to Kansas City.  L showed us that he can read- no more guessing!  He’s a readerI toured a pig farm, something I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would do.  J had his first haircut.  It would be almost 4 months before I allowed another scissors to cross his path.  I continued to struggle with the direction my blog was taking.

August:  This is the month where I finally lose my mind.  I was literally frozen in my kitchen on a chair while life sped up around me and I felt like I was losing my grip on my ability to deal with the day to day chaos.  Other things happened: J turned 2 and had a real Big Boy birthday!  Yogi Dad had a business trip out east.  The boys started school , again.  We went to the State Fair!  But, it will forever be marked as the month where I lost my shit.  A month I will happily forget.

September:  School started, and was great.  And then Day Treatment started.  And I found myself advocating for my kids over things like proper carseat installation in the Care Cab that picks them up in the morning and how and when they will transition from Day Treatment to school each day.  And I about lost my mind, again.  Because these were not the issues I imagined having to put my big girl panties on for.  These were just the logistics of getting to school and into buildings.  Things were worked out, mostly because Yogi Dad took over because I became an emotional mess (I am not cut out for this, there are things I cannot handle about parenting special needs kids).  And, I went to a blogging conference.  Because I guess that is what you do when you are slowly losing your grip on life and need a grown-up, professional getaway from the trappings of your day to day.  Even when you are trying to veer away from anything that looks like professional blogging.  As it turns out, this was the perfect day off for me.

October:  Yogi Dad and I celebrated 10 years of marriage!  I don’t feel like I have anything interesting or inspiring to add about being married.  I think the key is to be a team.  And find a way for the work not to seem like work.  You know what they say- do what you love and you will never work a day in your life?  That can apply to marriage too, right?  The months started off with a bang, and a call to Poison Control.  I told you I’m not a great mother.  We attempted to add the boys to the gym membership and it didn’t end well.  I almost pulled my membership as well, I thought it was handled so poorly, but I just gave it some time.  Actually, I haven’t really been back since this happened.  Halloween happened, and I single-handedly ruined J’s costume by getting his haircut 2 days before.  his flowing blond locks pretty much made his costume (he was Thor).

November:  Yogi Dad turned the big 3-5 and the boys turned FOUR!  I cannot believe it.  I did a really bad job of participating in the Thankfulness Project.  But that is mostly because I am overwhelmed and lazy most days.  Believe me, I am thankful for everything we have and all of the people in our lives.  We are surely blessed.  Thanksgiving itself was pretty good and I started a new tradition!  I opened the dam on my political and religious views.  I find politics and religion endlessly interesting.  I don’t know why they are so taboo.

December:  Honestly, December has been a complete blur, and I can’t believe it’s not January yet.  We just celebrated 3 different Christmases.  The boys are on the tail end of a two week break.  We’ve seen many an out-of-state guest and eaten way too many Rosettes.  We have always tried to pare down the gifting aspect of the season, but it’s tough to do.  There was the massacre at Newtown, which pretty much shattered me as a mother.  I don’t know what we need to do to fix this, but guns and mental healthcare are at the top of the list.  Let’s get to work on that.  To close out my fails as a mother, I didn’t have boots and snowpants (or even check to see if what we had from last year still fit) until we had 12 inches of perfect snowman snow on the ground.

Looking back, I had a lot of Mom  Fails!

2013 will be better.  Not that 2012 was particularly bad, but because we are always evolving and getting better.  Isn’t that why we keep going?

Thanks for the trip down memory lane, it might not be as tasty as Pioneer Woman or as pretty as House of Turquoise, but it’s our life.  Honest and messy and perfect in it’s imperfection.

Happy New Year!

“Be at war with your voices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every New Year find you a better man.”  ~ Benjamin Franklin

Copyright @ Minnesota Mom 2012