Using the Word “Autism”

There is so much that goes into having a diagnosis of autism, so many decisions to be made, so many things to think about that you didn’t even know were things.

Like when to tell your kid(s) they have autism.

We have always used the word and talked about why we go to Fraser and how their little brains work in their own special way.  It never occurred to me that some people didn’t tell their kids- like having an aide in the classroom and marching in to therapy after school was what everyone does.  I have to think that at some point, the kid is going to figure out that something is different.

We are pretty open books here- there are not a lot of secrets.  They both know that L was born first and he is older by one minute.  Apparently this is a thing amongst parents of twins (they can’t both come out of the *same* time…). They have heard the story about a hundred times about how we found out there were two and how W was a total surprise (and the biggest and best surprise of our life!).

Back to Autism.

Now, my kids are 4 and I am fairly certain that they have no idea what it means when we talk about autism (or birth order), but we talk about it, we have since day one when they were 25 months old, and we will continue to talk about it.  One day they will understand (or not), and when that day comes, I hope they will see that autism is not something to hide or be ashamed about, something adults speak about in hushed tones while tossing out looks of pity and helplessness.

Autism isn’t something that fits into a neat little box that only comes out when we let it.  It is part of every single minute of our day.  It’ is difficult and messy and some days I want to kick it in the ass and never deal with it again.  That isn’t likely to happen.

So, we embrace it.  As much as we can.

L always says “I have AWESOME!”  And he is right on the mark.


  • Aw, I love that your son says “I have AWESOME.” That’s, well, awesome. Glad I found you via Love that Max. And I agree that we should be open with our kids about their labels or whatever…I’d much rather my kid hear these words with kindness and love from me and his therapists than from some kid at school.

    • MNMomBlog

      Thanks for stopping by! I’m hoping to participate in this link up weekly, it’s nice to share with other parents and learn from all of the different experiences. I always wonder if our views are different because we found out so young and it has always been a part of our lives (and looking back it’s probably been from day 1).

  • Awwwww. I love that you talk about. Why not? I don’t understand people pretending something isn’t when it is. But that’s me. Every person has to handle it the way they see fit. I prefer your way. Honesty. And I love your ending. AWESOME!

  • From Autism With Love

    We have been pretty open around here as well. Someone asked me when did we tell her? My honest answer was I can’t remember. Little by little over the years would be my best guest. ~ Jamie ( hopping over from Love That Max)

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